The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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