i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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