Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
