i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
