Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
