You're completely useless in the revolution.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
