He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
