Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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