When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
