My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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