Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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