well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
