He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Are we still banned from the library?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
