He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
