The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
