I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
