Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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