I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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