I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
