The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Still dying that you shit outside
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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