covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
