my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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