Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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