Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
