The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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