I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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