so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
