i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
