the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
