was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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