Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
