her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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