i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
