he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
