It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Me too!
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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