i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
should my penis look like a turkey
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
