needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
