Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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