You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
