I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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