Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
