NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
