Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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