First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
