whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
how can u be prego again
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
