Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I look better un-naked...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
