When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
