i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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