Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
