I can feel you judging me through the phone.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
