Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize