But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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