Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
