my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize