I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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