does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize