Small penises have feelings too.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
