The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
